so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
