i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
