You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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