I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
