You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
