hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
