Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize