Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
