everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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