Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What a dumb baby whore.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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