three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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