Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
