its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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