No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
