I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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