as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
