Got a toothbrush?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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