I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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