i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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