Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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