Please, let me fuck your mom
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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