So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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