Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
foreskin is a definite game changer
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
