If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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