I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
