I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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