well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
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I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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