This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
BRING THE BAGELS
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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