she was so not down for the gang bang
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Randomize
