im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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