i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize