I need help removing her.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
