brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so let's talk penis.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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