why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
bring money and cleavage
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
