The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
