i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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