That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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