a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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