'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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