i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
