just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
