It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize