The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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