I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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