Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
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What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
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I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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