Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
