the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
