She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
