Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
