My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
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It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
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I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
BRING THE BAGELS
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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