I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
