Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
