My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
