If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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