My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize