She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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