I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I forgot how hot balto sounded
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize